Subconsciously Defenseless
by ClaireLewis
Summary: One-shot/Crisis Core/Zangeal. Zack couldn't calm down after Angeal left him, calling himself "a monster". He doesn't know he is yet to discover that his mentor is not as 'perfect' as many would think. Everyone may drop their guard, not even consciously...
Subconsciously Defenseless, a Zangeal Fanfiction

I'm not experienced in Angst/Hurt/Comfort just trying something else on a very boring lecture. I was writing on my phone, so… also, even if I am not a big yoai/shonenai/boyslove fan, Zangeal just seems so… right to me. d'Awwwww! Sorry, just fangirling over my OTP.

Also disclaimer goes here: All characters belong to Square Enix etc. etc.

Read and please, Review….

Staring at the ceiling in his SOLDIER quater, Zachariah Fair was desperately trying to fall asleep, at least for one hour, at least for a while…. But thoughts and memories just kept flooding into his mind, keeping him wide awake. It was utterly hopeless

Even if he tried not to think about last day, whenever he closed his eyes, he couldn't help but see Angeal. His mentor, his idol, the man who taught him so much… Yes, Angeal Hewley meant so much to the teenager, and Zack couldn't deny that forgetting about hismentor or even not thinking about him now was harder than anything Zack could imagine. It was nearly impossible. An image flashed in the Second's mind, Hewley, showing him his angelic wing. It had to be painful, as it ripped through his Mentor's flesh, yet at some point… it was so beautiful. But Angeal called himself a monster, and even if Zack tried his hardest to, well, show the First that he was wrong, that with his honor, becoming a monster was something far far far beyond him. Nevetheless, Angeal wouldn't believe it.

In his… anger, helplessness, Angeal told Zack to defend himself, just seconds before sending younger SOLDIER tumbling down, all the way to the slums. Zack knew… he just knew Angeal would never mean to hurt him. Yet still he was worried. Not about himself. About his mentor. He wasn't able to tell, where Hewley was, what could've happened to him. Was he alright? All of Fair's worries seemed to be trying to scratch their way out of teenager causing physical pain in the boy's chest.

„Angeal…" a weak whisper ecaped the Second's lips, as he curled up into a ball. He couldn't even cry. Deep within his heart, the teen was genuinely terrified, worried, couldn't control his anxiety. Also, lack of sleep now was no good to him.

Soon, he started tossing and turning in the bed sheets once again, yet no position seemed comfortable, there was no way for him to fall asleep. He couldn't stand it, groaning he forced his body up, and glanced at the alarm clock. 3:17 AM.

Zack massaged his temples for a while, just before getting up and putting his SOLDIER uniform on. A short walk should be alright…

The corridors were a little dark, so calming and silent. The Second was simply wandering around, trying to concentrate at something other than Angeal Hewley. He shook his head at the very thought of the man's name. On the other hand, he desired to find Angeal, to just tell him that he's not a monster, show the First that it is not the end, that even… even if Hewley cannot say he protected his SOLDIER honor, he still had his honor as a man… Zack wanted him to open his eyes, see that. Of course, even if they meet again, it may not be easy. Angeal didn't want to accept the truth the first time, so how's he going to react the other time around?

The Second sighed as he stopped in front of one particular door. Angeal's room, or his former quater at least. In a moment, Fair remembered how many times he knocked on these doors, late at evening or at any other free time. With any issues, any piece of advice he needed, Angeal was there for him. It looked like he was led here by the very thought of his mentor. He wondered, why here? Why couldn't he go to the training room, excercise until exhaustion gets the best of him and cuts his conscioussness. There was something pinning him down, making him stare at the door, as if he was… waiting? For what!? Clenching his teeth, he finally decided to open the door, maybe just because of the Nostalgia? Slowly, silently he entered the room.

„No way" he gasped and blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating „Angeal…" his face got brighter as he blinked the tears of joy away. He didn't like crying, no matter what the reason was.

He came back, his mentor came back. Angeal was here! Zack took a deep breath to calm himself down, and then couldn't help but stare at his mentor.

At the first sight, Angeal was looking so calm, peaceful, lying on his stomach, his strong arms hugging a pillow. White wing moving in harmony with the man's breath.

Slowly, Zack walked up to him, warm smile on his bright face. But as he got closer to his mentor, he realised that the calm and the peacefullness wwere just an illusion. Angeal looked as if he was having a nightmare, his wing reacting in a form of short, weak spasms, shivers that ran through entire Hewley's body.

One shiver, stronger than others, caused the wing to flap aggresively, accidentally hitting Zack and sending him on a wall. The boy gasped in surprise rather than in pain.

"Z-Zack..." Angeal clenched his hand on the pillow as a single tear escaped his eye.

"N-no way...!" Zack whispered "'Geal..."

It was the first time for Zack, seeing his mentor in such miserable state, hurt, vulnerable. Weak. The view almost literally pierced through his young and somehow sensitive heart.

He couldn't help but crawl into his mentor's bed, soon feeling Hewley's white wing covering him like a blanket.

The teen smiled, as he snuggled closer to the man. Then he reached up to the First's cheek to wipe his tear away.

"Don't cry, Angeal..." He then whispered. "I'm here... I'm right here..." he snuggled closer to his mentor, feeling the warmth of man's body. It felt good.

Angeal groaned in his sleep, his hand moving to the teen's waist, holding the smaller boy close.

"Puppy..." another tear escaped Angeal's eye. Zack tried to get out of the bed but Angeal's arms were too strong, his mentor wouldn't let go of him, not now. Times were changing and so were they. Peaceful moments like these were about to become rare. Zack couldn't stand see eing his mentor so hurt. Since he was held close to the man's warm body, all he could do was to reach up to Angeal's face and take the tear away with his soft lips. Then he also kissed the man's lower jaw and touched his lips softly.

"Yes, Angeal" Zack whispered "No matter what happens, I'll always be your Puppy"


End file.
